An Ogre & An Onion
"I'm a Chaos Coach for women that juggle motherhood and business. I support them in achieving a work life balance that works for them."
^^^
This was my introduction to a room full of power house women that intimated me slightly.
A 30 second elevator pitch that lacked personality. Character. Interest. And overall failed to tell the story of who I REALLY am.
As the day would progress their jaws would drop at the gems others on the team would drop on my behalf.
"She has 4 kids" - are you kidding?
"She lives off grid in an rv with her family of 6 and 3 dogs" - excuse me, what?!
"She owns beauty businesses with her husband. Oh, and her daughter is an 11 year old nail tech" - WE DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!
I shrugged “In the words of Shrek - I’m like an onion. I have layers.
An onion. I compared myself to an ogre and an onion.
Is this really how I see myself?
How often do you do this?
Downplay the dope things you do and the cool pieces that make up who you are. Either out of fear of not sounding like you are “bragging” or making anyone feel uncomfortable.
This fear has paralyzed me against taking up big space and maximizing opportunities and relationships.
It’s the same fear that prevented me from raising my prices to meet my value, that made me say “yes” to things that I truly didn’t want to do. The same boogeyman that forces me to hide behind my other roles like “I’m a barbershop owner beside my husband” because that makes me sound more legit.
This fear of taking up space and being seen as the powerhouse I am. What a pity.
Because letting things be as they are isn’t an option for us self-development girlies, I turned to my community.
“What did you see, from the outside in?” I asked
2 things, she responded:
1- You are hyper-aware of others and trying to not take up anybody’s space. We’re taught to be that way to be polite. It’s like you’re saying “I want to make sure I’m not stepping on anybody’s toes. I’m here for what you need me to be”
2- We’re all still in the process of owning the entirety of our identities. Because we feel like we’re still in the process, it makes it hard to put into words who and what we are.
Ok I think I’ve got it now
Since chewing on this experience I’ve decided a few things that I believe will help you in your own identity shifting journey:
1 - You can honor other people’s spaces while still taking up your own. You do this by being authentic to who you are and what you stand for. To not quiet the voices that tell you “Share that story” or “celebrate that win - out loud”
2 - This juggling act isn’t meant to be a one-woman circus. You NEED community. You NEED to curate who it is you have around you. Had it not been for my friends speaking up on my behalf I would have been unmemorable in the eyes of these great entrepreneurs. It was my friends that helped me see the gaps and opportunities so that I could fill them with wisdom instead of more fear.
You can join me in this exercise if you are struggling with this too.
Place adjectives in your elevator pitch that emphasize just how grandeur your work is.
So mines is:
I’m a Chaos Coach for women in the circus act of raising a family and building a business. I help guide them into epic transformations in their mindset, relationships and identity. I’m also a serial entrepreneur, mom of 4 hardcore kids and a masochist for living life on the “How the hell did that happen?” side of faith.
Send me a message on IG or an email at hello@buffaloambitionco.com with yours!
